August 22, 2018
Hey Friend!! Welcome to the first blog post on Wedding Tip Wednesday! I’m so glad you’re here and hopefully looking for tips and tricks to make your wedding planning easier. If this is you, you have come to the right place. This is a weakly blog that’ll give you new tips each week, covering any topic you wish. To send in a question, letting me know what you’d like to hear, you can message your question or leave it in the comments below.
I get asked these quite often, what my take is for whether to do a first look or the traditional aisle look. As I don’t want to be the person who makes the decision for you, I would love to give you more knowledge on this mater. Let’s first bring it back to how the history for how the traditional way started to now what we see as a first look. “It was believed that if a bride and groom saw each other before the big day, they’d have enough time to call off the wedding.” In the 1500’s the concept of it being bad luck actually started from an arranged marriages which is seen all the way back to the Bible days. Being the 2018 now, we are way past the arrange marriages, (can I get an amen) but this bad luck concept still is what many couples see as the normal. Then, the first look came around. More and more brides and grooms are opting for a first look which can have many benefits but the best benefit of all, is it allows time for you two to see each other alone for the first time without everyone’s eyes on you, besides the person you’re about to marry.
I hope these 3 tips can help you see the reasons on why I think the way I do on this particular subject and also to educate you the best I can so you can make a decision that is authentic to you and your fiance whatever it may be.
There are many pros of why a first look. my experience looking back, one of my biggest regrets, is that Mike and I didn’t do a first look or anything alternative at our wedding. I just don’t think we knew what we were missing. Now I know that if we would have chose to do the first look, then the emotions would have been even better walking down the aisle because we wouldn’t have been as in shock and could have been more in that beautiful and moment.
1. The first time you see each other is private and shared just between you two. It provides time for the two of you to be together alone before you are husband and wife
2. The nerves of seeing each other for the first time will be lightened and then you can simply look forward to and enjoy your ceremony with with even more emotions.
3. You will both look your freshest!
4. Now from a photographer’s perspective, the first look really allows for great things. For starters, portraits can be taken right then and there, after you’ve seen each other, which is filled with your love for one another without everyone watching (warning: tears might be shed here.)
5. You can schedule most all of the wedding party & family photos before the ceremony, so afterwards all the formal images left to take, are the extended family photos (if important to you) and the ones of you two at sunset as husband and wife. This way, you’re refreshed and excited for your sunset getaway photos. Plus, your guests won’t have to wait a longer period of time and you’ll have the opportunity to actually enjoy part of cocktail hour, stress-free.
6. Helps to ensure that there is enough time for the most important memories (the photos of you two!) These are the memories that what will be passed down from generation to generation.
On the flip side, here are a few cons of the first look, if you’re still battling on what to do.
1. Seeing each other before the ceremony goes against tradition and gets looked at as bad luck. Trust me, this is why I didn’t do a first look. Now, I only wish I was told differently and educated on the many pros vs the few cons.
2.Without a first look timeline, there is really no time, to have a moment completely alone, and take it all in as best friends who are about to be married.
I find myself always turning to videos when it comes to blogs. I know that sounds bad but not everyone loves to camp out and read a blog that has more content. Here is a video about this topic that I put together for you to watch ranter than read. If you’re more of a reader, then great because there is even more content below.
TIP #2 THE TRADITIONAL AISE LOOK
Now you might be saying, that’s great Angel, but what if I am set on the traditional way? I totally respect that and I understand your coming from because It has been done this way for many generations. Plus, its something you have been looking forward to your whole lives. I am just as excited for couples who’s weddings are set on the traditional way. I just highly recommend planning something for you two alternative in order to get time together at some point of your day. Because, I missed out on that and don’t want you to have to miss out either.
1.You will have to more time to get ready the day of the wedding. This especially works the best for if you have an earlier/midday wedding.
2. All of your guest can be included in the moment of him seeing you for the first time.
3. The grooms tend to be the more traditionalists and for brides, it’s nice to also, consider you soon to be husbands feelings like you would your own while coming to a mutual place.
4. You’ll both being wearing your rings!
On the flip side, here are a few cons of the traditional, if you’re still battling on what to do.
1. Without a first look timeline, there is really no time, to have a moment completely alone, and take it all in as best friends who are about to be married.
2. While your guests are enjoying cocktail hour, you’ll be tackling photos with your family, wedding party and just the two you. This can take 1 hour to 1.5 hours, depending on your family shot list and size of your wedding party.
3. The first time seeing each other is walking down the aisle and you’re unable to talk. Immediately following the ceremony, the extended & immediate family formals, wedding party ect. images will be taken place. After all of those are finished, then it’s Bride and Groom time for about 30 minutes if everything run as planned. Following bride and groom portraits, is the reception and all of it’s events.
4. If family formals are running behind schedule, it’s always the bride and groom time that gets cut short.
Here are some other ways you can get creative and be strategic on setting aside some time for you two if choosing not to do a first look. Hide behind a door groom on one side, bride on the other. This can be very special when adding in a one or all of these things three things.
pro alternative options
1. Have a first touch
2. Personal vow reading
3. Private prayer
4. Private Dinner
I hope these 3 tips help you and your fiance make a decision that’s unique to you and brings out your personalities as a couple. Since the first look is something that I regret not doing, it’s definitely something I let couples know the benefits of. Mike and I are best friends and how I see it, is at the end of the day, you plan… plan… and plan… and for what, to be hidden from your fiance that you’re about to spend a lifetime with just because of tradition? For us seeing it now, it doesn’t make much since to want to be hidden from each other, the whole day. So for you couples trying to make the diecision, Rather strategically set aside time to focus on you two and your relationship, as well as the binding commitment you’ll soon be making, before the craziness of the wedding hits.
Overall, this topic is simple. Every bride and grooms big day is authentic in their own personal way. So why not make it your own!! Whether you’re choosing the traditional, non-traditional or somewhere in between. While you may obsess over the details and weigh every decision, you will truly be happy when you realize that this day is more than that.
If you are someone who is already married and has done any of these options, please leave it in the comments so it’ll help other brides get even more plus real insite into your experience! To send in a question, please message me letting me know, what you’d like to hear! You can add a question in the comments or contact me!
Video by: Tyson J Henderson